The Cardinal Bird (Remembering My Dad Part 2)

You wanted to buy those 20 grand worth of old musty-smelling law books of your colleague who had died.

We miss you so much now, I'd buy you ten times of those books just so we could be with you again.

Next week is the first year death anniversary of my Dad. Being a Daddy's girl, it's a painful chapter of my life that I'd rather not commemorate every year. But then, it's one of the rare chances that the family gets together. My Dad's passing has brought some major changes to all of us he has left behind. With his absence, we learned to be more responsible and mindful of each other, especially to my Mom. We've hugged and loved each other more after Dad was gone, as though we were trying to fill the gap he has left behind. It will not be a gap for my son, as he has never really known my Dad that well. But I promise myself, he will know his Granddad, his Mom's Dad from the stories I will be telling.

When Dad got sick and his foot gangrened, my Mom was in the States. He was bedridden for about a week because he was already suffering from pneumonia and his fever was intermittent. He was brought to the hospital and recovered for a few days only to deteriorate again after the third night. That night when he was at his weakest, my Mom told me how she was praying hard for my Dad to get well. She was also praying that he's thinking of her right that very moment she was thinking of him. In one of her moments alone, she saw a cardinal bird. She wasn't sure why she got so excited over seeing the bird. My Dad loved the color red and was very fond of animals. We had dogs and chickens when I was young and a fish pond with real live fishes and snails. Moments later,she realized it may have been my Dad bidding her goodbye.